Team,
It’s with excitement I write this post, as we prepare to embark on an exciting new chapter in our company’s history. As we continually strive to be at the forefront of innovation and efficiency, I am thrilled to announce a groundbreaking development that will revolutionize the way we operate.
Thanks to the extensive research and development led by our talented teams, we have successfully created a highly advanced artificial intelligence system, affectionately dubbed “NtireAI.” This AI, designed with cutting-edge technology, is set to optimize our operations and decision-making processes. Effective immediately, NtireAI will begin overseeing several key functions within our organization, including, but not limited to:
- Email Signature Approvals: In our quest for maximum communication efficiency, all email signatures will now require NtireAI’s stamp of approval.
- Lunch Menu Selections: Utilizing productivity data, NtireAI will not only curate all our weekly lunch menus to boost team performance but will also personalize daily meal plans, instructing on what to purchase and cook to optimize your health. As a new prerequisite of our health insurance, you can link it to your credit card for automatic ordering and home delivery of ingredients. Prepare to experience culinary choices like never before and maintain your health under the guidance of NtireAI. We will also be extending this service to our partners upon request.
- Meeting Scheduling by Astrological Signs: Moving away from conventional team-building tools like StrengthFinders or Gallup, NtireAI introduces an unprecedented method of scheduling meetings based on the astrological compatibility of attendees. This innovative approach promises harmonious and productive outcomes. Soon, astrological signs will be included in email signatures and communications with both internal and external parties.
To further develop NtireAI’s capabilities, we will be asking everyone to submit daily mandatory feedback (similar to eNPS) through a specially designed online form. Your input, ranging from mood ratings (please choose between “banana” and “sunset”) to creative name suggestions for our AI (with “Captain Efficient,” “The Grand Processor,” and “Bob” as current contenders), is invaluable.
We are excited to embark on this journey with NtireAI leading the way to a more efficient, productive, and harmonious work environment. Your cooperation and enthusiasm for this new initiative are greatly appreciated. Stay tuned for further updates, and here’s to a future where technology and teamwork converge to create unparalleled success!
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This message was recently sent to employees, and intended as an April Fool’s Day prank to bring some laughter and joy into the day. At Ntirety, we are committed to providing the strongest, most comprehensive IT services to our customers and partners. While providing these services, we foster a culture that’s not only hardworking, but also positive and fun. We wanted to share our recent April Fool’s prank with you in hopes it might brighten your day, too!
