Partners, Customers, and Team Ntirety,
As you saw in the news, cyberthreats are up 800%. Given this crazy upward trend we are seeing in cyberattacks, Ntirety as the global leader in Comprehensive Cybersecurity Solutions, is launching a new innovative Identity and Access Management (IAM) security product that will defeat all these pesky hackers. This is a cornerstone of our Comprehensive Security Solution.
- All Employees, Customers, and Partners Must Use This New Product By Noon:
This new product will not only be for our customers, but also for all Ntirety employees and partners. To access any of our tools, we will all be adopting first beginning today at noon (no exceptions).
This new IAM product requires our employees, partners and customers to change their current user names every day, while also simultaneously changing their passwords every day. Your username, just like your password, must be an assortment of numbers and letters with no reference to your previous name.
2. Learn to Love Your DUN:
Furthermore, based on our CISO’s recommendations, while addressing each other in written communication, you cannot refer to other employees or customers by their real names anymore. You have to refer to them by their Daily User Name (DUN). Today as an example you have to refer to me not as Emil, or Emil Sayegh, but by my DUN “%KDApril1_22!”. Tomorrow, it will be something different. Everyone will have to download an Ntirety IAM RosettaStone App, that will give you the DUN of the person you are trying to communicate with.
3. This is for your own good.
While we know this may be inconvenient to some, but Cyber threats have unfortunately taken too drastic of a turn and we have to resort to these drastic measures to keep our employees and customers safe. This is for your own good. The internet and social media have made so much of our lives public that cybercriminals can more easily figure out how to extract personal information from what we are posting especially when our user names are a simple combination of our first and last name. This new IAM product will help to protect our identities and prevent potential data theft. We are in direct talks with Social Media companies for them to also adopt this technology. We believe it will help in the global discourse.
Please do not hesitate to reach out to your Ntirety team members with any questions you may have.
Sincerely,
%KDApril1_22!.
PSA from Team Ntirety: This blog was intended to be an April Fools joke but serves as a reminder to keep an eye out for social engineering scams. Communication or emails that come from higher-ups with edicts, giving you little time to react, that are plausible but out of character are typical tools for Social Engineering scams. Make sure to educate and train your teams to be cautious when taking in new information and clicking unfamiliar links. If something seems too good to be true it very likely is, and it is better to use caution than suffer the consequences of data theft.
